Big Changes at Home

Big changes are coming to our household, and honestly, it feels like we are ripping the bandaid off all at once.

Last Friday, we got the call that A would be seeing a psychiatrist on the 23rd. She was very nervous, but because I promised to pick her up from school early, she got up and let me bring her in. She got there around 9:45 that Monday morning, and I picked her up at 1:45 p.m. for the appointment.

The appointment was mostly with me, which made sense because so much of what has been happening has been showing up at home in layers. I was able to explain what we have been seeing more clearly: the shutting down, the lashing out, the hitting, the throwing, and the random noises that tend to happen when she is overwhelmed or overstimulated.

What we learned

One of the biggest things I learned is that my daughter has developed what was described as a behavioral verbal tic. Looking back, I had already started to wonder if that might be what I was seeing when she made random noises during moments of overwhelm.

The psychiatrist said it is not certain that the verbal tics are because of the Focalin, but he does think the aggressive behaviors may be connected to it. That was enough for changes to be made.

We stopped the Focalin and Prazosin, and medication changes are finally being addressed.

She is staying on her mood stabilizer and her anxiety/sleep meds, but now we are entering the part that feels both hopeful and hard. The plan is to reevaluate in four weeks, and she is also supposed to start psychotherapy.

Ripping the bandaid off

I keep using that phrase because it really does feel like that. Now that the Focalin is no longer being used, she is going to come back into more of her normal self again — loud, happy, sad, expressive, emotional, and everything in between.

At the same time, we know there could be a lot of side effects and adjustments over the next few weeks as she comes off the medication. Tuesday was a complete refusal day, and I am assuming part of that was connected to the dysregulated sleep schedule she has been on.

Even with that, we have already noticed a difference in her sleep. That does not magically make things easy, but it does make me feel like maybe we are finally looking in the right direction.

Boundaries are changing too

We have also set stronger boundaries around the tablet, whether she likes it or not.

Tonight did not go very well. She had her tablet for a few hours, and when it was time to give it back, there was attitude right away. We took it anyway. After that came about twenty minutes of screaming that felt unnecessary, uncomfortable, and exhausting. But eventually, she calmed down.

The tablets are locked up for the night, and the boundary held.

It was not pretty, but it mattered.

School is still part of the stress

Her school, which I will not name, had one of their teachers message me and the case manager. Because of the nature of the message, we chose not to reply. Needless to say, we are not all on the same page right now.

That part adds another layer to everything because parenting through dysregulation at home is already a lot. Trying to navigate medical concerns, emotional regulation, school communication, and daily functioning all at the same time can feel like carrying five hard things in both hands.

The wins still count

Today, she got up.

She got up late, but she got up. I got her there at 8:40 a.m., which is huge for her right now. That counts. In a season where so much feels heavy, I am trying to let the wins count even when they look small from the outside.

I want to pat myself on the back a little for that. Not because everything is fixed, but because I am still showing up in the middle of all of it.

If it is not one thing, it is another

On top of everything else, we have a housing inspection coming up on the 7th, and I am super nervous about it. If it is not one thing, it is another.

But there is still some good in the middle of the hard.

NeuroVibe is getting out there. Over the past 24 hours, I have had three different videos hit 1,000 views. That feels big to me. It reminds me that even while things are messy at home, something I am building is still reaching people.

Some days the win is getting to school. Some days the win is holding the boundary. Some days the win is simply making it through the day without giving up.

We do not have all the answers yet. We are still in the middle of the changes. But things are finally being looked at, addressed, and reevaluated. Right now, that has to be enough.

This reflection shares our family’s lived experience and is not medical advice. Every child, medication response, and support plan is different.